The fishes & bermuda triangle of sorts !

My follow up post for the trip to the fishes has been more than a tad late but about it .....so here goes the saga....

Come Wednesay I got a call from yours truly Mr O, jus to say hi and also to see if we were still on for the Sato plot ( yes yes we are Oduori, remember you badgered me into submission ?? )

We carry on the phone for longer than I deem necessary , or maybe its because he called me when I was watching the telly and my ADD was ebbing in and out and the convo on my end consisted of alot of "ahas"... '"wows".... "no way".... "you gotta be kididng me" ...."get outta here" ( these modern cliche expressions have saved me many a times from actually engaging in mundane conversations because it gives the other person the impression that you're really engrossed in whatever blah blah is coming out of that orifice called a mouth )

I looked at my cellphone and I was like haiya ! 9 minutes and 39 seconds have elapsed and Mr Oduori, with all due respect, I do not have the luxury of a TiVO or DVR where I can rewind whatever I'm missing so I harakishad him ( almost used the gotta go take a dump, my sphincter muscles are about to give in line ) off the phone with the promise of calling him back on Friday ( jot that on your PDA buddy ! )

So now I'm thinking to myself, there's no way the fishes trip is going to be exclusively with Mr O...this has to be a group effort aka the folks who tried to set me up with him must be present !
I call friend B and I tell her not to make any plans for Sato and shes like :

Friend B: arent you supposed ot be going with Oduori to see the fishes ?"

Me: You cross eyed heifer ! you're the one who started all of this and I'll be damned if I suffer from the bad breath by myself !

( Freind B is cornered into submision...MISSION ACCOMPLISHED )

I know this whole scenario begs the question - why not jus call the whole thing off, yes I could do that and crush Oduori's PDA or heart or feelings but Im doing this for ahem... ( shifts eyes ....sign of lies to come ) you readers - Yes bloggers and blog readers...this is for the greater good of non educational reading matter !

Mr O gets a call from me and I suggest Friend B and her boyfie come along since they hadnt seen the fishes - I mean aquarium. Dude seems kidogo perturbed but oh well, thats my stand and I'm not budging but ofcourse I'm a sly mbweha and my demands are served subtley( on a silver platter might I add ) with a hint of aggression ( he never saw it coming ) and he begrudingly agreed ( GOTCHA SUCKA ! )

Come D-Day and Oduori calls me at 9 am ( ngamia its freaking 9 am on a freaking Saturday morning ! even the monks are still enjoying the pleasures of a gondoro & Raymond blankets ) I curse his diesel driving car ass out...in my head that is, mute my phone and go back to sleeping. Oduori dont you know the Queen Bee is not to be disturbed at such hours ?? Makes mental note to inform subject of this unacceptable behaviour !

Two hours and change later after draggin my ass out of bed and fixing me a killer breakfast, not primarily due to hunger but rather the fact that if I play another round of the staring game with the eggs and milk in my fridge, victory shall soon be theirs !

I call Oduori and I can tell he's kidogo irritated - perhaps due to the fact that I'm callin him back two hours later and I'm as casual as can be ?? moving on ! he suggests he comes to pick me up, and I quickly shoot that down and suggest we all meet at a central place, Oduori is a sly one too...mamas are all too familiar with this move - I'm not going to let you come pick me up coz that means you will have to drop me home and also maybe expect me to invite you to my pad and perhaps linger hoping for a kiss ( if the dude is a gentleman ) ama pounce on you for a kiss ( if its a wolf dressed in jeans/khakis with sneakers or tassel detailed shoes )

I pitia Friend B's place to pick her up coz I wanted to ensure the prescence of the cross eyed-heifer and her accomplice ( she can only screw me royally once ! )
We get to the place where we all agreed to meet and Oduori is already there playing with his PDA ( whats with the fascination of this gadget Mr O ?? ) in his moti with the sound of Samba Mapangala a decibel higher than what I'm sure the city ordinance law on noise would allow BUT DO I SAY ??

Let me jus say first and foremost that he was not wearing ant tasseled shoes ( the Gods were favouring me on this one ) and as he approaches to hug me I cross my fingers and silently hope that he shall not be a repeat offender of being a haliotosis carrier - SUPRISINGLY...no traces of breath from Hades ( I high five my Guardian Angel )

Oduori tells us his brother is joining us to see the fishes, at this point I'm callin the aquariium the place where the fishes live coz bad habits not only die hard but are easlily passed on from person to person and I clearly was the recipient of this grammar faux pas. Then I see this hunk of an Omundu approaching us and Im thinking to myself ..not it cant be his brother..please let this guy not be his brother ....and as fate would have it..its Oduoris bother !!!!!!!!!!!

Auuuuuu the man had what I like to call MFUFU FEATURES.....he had flawless nicely chargrilled dark skin....nostrils flared nicely...the lips....YAWHEH !
He had shorts on so I tupad a covetous look to check out them legs and he had nice zgwembes - not the kind that look like disfigured maembes that were shoved in there and left to sort themselves out ....
The shirt he had on did nothing to camouflage the fact that he works out and the misulis on his arms.... ahem ( recomposes self ) and he was bald too aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhh....

I could'nt even look at this fine specimen directly in the eye...I mustered a faint "hi" which I doubt he even heard but im sure he saw my lips move. So I turn to Oduori and say...didnt know you had a brother... ( is he single Oduori ? is he ? is he ? ) Friend B and I throw each other looks and the woman knows me too well coz she gives me a look that says dont even go that route because THOU SHALL NOT COVET THY BROTHERS SIBLINGS !

Now Oduori was not to be outdone and he said it was his first time to see the fishes but I highly doubt coz he kept dropping factoids of the different species of the fishes from time to time ( fuck the samakis Oduori....back to your brother ! ) People you have no idea how many times I rolled my eyes ( in thought ) everytime the man opened his mouth to explain how the gills on the fish secrete whatever shyt to ward off its predators ( ok ok I made that part up but I jus wasnt keeping up with his samaki knowledge ).

The brother must have been on the same page with me on being bored by dudes comprehensive class on the fishes and he came over to my side and started talking to me. Eeerrr........Im not trying to recreate a biblical scenario of Caine & Abel ( who killed who again ? I was asleep in Sunday school when that juicy part was mentioned ) only this time there wuld be a woman involved ( points at self ). Oduori then noticed that me and his bro were talking and he didnt seem to like this one bit and quickly asserted his prescence and I can only say that the silver lining in this cloud was the fact that he stopped dropping the knowledge about the fishes !

What is the mama to do ? I'm only made of flesh and blood...me and the man definetly have chemistry going on and this is one twisted triangle that I do not want to get caught in.....

Now if you will excuse me fellow bloggers and bloggettes, let me go type a letter to www.dearabby.com and explain my dilemma to her. She might be of help !