Of Toes & Such

Happy Monday people !

On my lunch break I decided to run to the bank and while I was there I saw this mama who was well dressed..and all was on point then when I looked at her feet and everything came to a screeching halt ( I happen to have a shoe fetish )

The womans feet looked like she had trodden the earth with Moses when he was leading the Israelites for fourty days and fourty nights to the Promised Land and then some !! Lotion did not seem to be a product familiar with her feet and if she did infact use lotion on her feet ( lets give her the benefit of the doubt ) it was clear she needed to marinate them funky ass feet with lotion and not use a dollop as instructed on the lotion's "how to use"
On closer inspection, I noticed her toes were curled into "mini fists" like positions and could uppercut you on command !!!......Im not even going to get into the nail polish...thats a blog for another day !

Now, Im not saying Im all perfect...during winter I tend not to be vigilant about my feet but I don't wachilia them to the point where you can substitute feet for sand paper !

So ladies, it’s that time of year once again!!! I think we need to be reminded of a few things. So my sisters, PREASE, raise your big toes and repeat after me below….

I promise to always wear sandals that fit. My toes will not hang overand touch the ground, nor will my heels spill over the backs. And the sides and tops of my feet will not pudge out between the straps.

I will go polish-free or vow to keep the polish fresh, intact and chip-free AND not cheat and just touch up my big toe.

I will sand down any mounds of skin before they turn hard and yellow ( look at pic above )

I will shave the hairs off my big toe ( This does not apply to Kenyan mamas as we are not that hairy but should U be the minority that this point applies to...GRAB A NACET ! )

I won't wear pantyhose even if my misinformed girlfriend, coworker,mother, sister tells me the toe seam really will stay under my toes if I tuck it there.

If a strap breaks, I won't duct-tape, pin, glue or tuck it back into place hoping it will stay put. I will get my shoe fixed or toss it.

I will not live in corn denial; rather I will lean on my good friend Dr. Scholl's if my feet need him.

I will resist the urge to buy jelly shoes at Payless for the low, low price of $4.99 even if my feet are small enough to fit into the kids' sizes. This is out of concern for my safety, and the safety of others. No one can walk properly when standing in a pool of sweat and I would hate to take someone downwith me as I fall and break my ankle.

I will take my toe ring off toward the end of the day if my toes swell and begin to look like Vienna sausages.

I will be brutally honest with my girlfriend/sister/coworker when she asks me if her feet are too ugly to wear sandals. Someone has to tell her that her toes are as long as my fingers and no sandal makes creepy feet look good

I will promise if I wear flip flops that I will ensure that they actually flipand flop, making the correct noise while walking and I will swear NOT to slide or drag my feet while wearing them.