Life's Lesson No. 1...
I resurface...ask no questions as to where I was...
Per our past conversation people, I brought it to your attention that I had been somewhat cornered by the relentless German car driving man who hails from the land where the great Omweri was last spotted...MOVING ON
Oduori decided to make sure that I kept my end of the bargain and he had to take his "lady friend", namely me to an eatery of my choice (sigh)... Dude decided to use his PDA to its maximum capability...I first got a text from him on a Friday night. I replied. Then he calls me the next morning, which happened to be a weekend - at freaking 9:00 AM ( was a memo not passed to you Mr O..?? hmmmm...because Queen Bee does not rise at such ungodly hours on the weekend !! ). I ignored his call, last time I checked in my scales of freakin priorities on the weekend...sleep comes before convo with Oduori. My subject will have to wait until I wake up from my slumber.
Two hours later I’m awake, have had breakfast and am somewhat ready to face the day..when the phone rings. It's usually on vibrate but at times I will change it to alert mode, where it actually tells me who’s callin and since the simu was programmed to pronounce only jungu names...it dices Mr O's name saying "call from Odarai..call from Odarai". It was amusing, other than the fact that I had to face the man phone to phone so to speak... So I answer and dude sounds like he's on his tenth cup of kahawa chungu ( the kind those long distance derevas from back home drink to keep themselves awake). We agree on a time and venue and I get him off the phone hurriedly with some flimsy excuse of me having to water my plants ( wtf devious? do you even have plants in the house ? ). He offers to come pick me up ..heheheheh Oduori, I’m ten steps ahead of you...no way you're comin to my castle. Besides, I already just told him an effed up lie about havin to water plants so if he comes over he will wonder where the plants are ( yeah he's observant like that ).
So we meet at the venue and he's already there and OMG ...why is dude donning them killa shoes again?!? And when I say killa, I mean killa for real coz them shoes slay my soul everytime I see them on his feet. And I happen to be near him. I could care less if he wore the shoes while trekkin some Bolivian jungle, but next to me ?? That's another story ! For those who need a refresher on how they look...they resembled something like this. I really didnt make eye contact with them shoes lest I turned into a pillar of salt or something along those lines ( I would later learn my lesson of the consequencies of using a Biblical reference to diss Mr O ).
We ingia the restarurant and proceed to order food...jus like the first time me and Oduori went to eat, he plays a staring game at the menu and Kumesh is not too amused by his indecisiveness but finally he orders something... Hoorraayyy!! It's about damn time ! Shortly after, the food is brought, which I kula, enjoying every morsel. All the while, my counterpart nitpicks on his food. Oh well to each his own. I came, I ate, I conquered ! We hang out for a while and I find out I can only take small doses of Oduori at at time, coz he then started getting waaay to comfy and it was time to put a stop to the tasselled shoe wearing man madness.
Now dont get me wrong, I did appreciate the meal Oduori bought for his lady friend... and thank him I did. Suprisingly I do have manners tihihihihih. We both parted ways and I fika home and even before my tanyes gets to meet the couch, my phone screams "call from Odarai"...Yes Odu...I mean hey whassup...yeah thx for dinner again...tomorrow ? Can I get back to you on that ? I'm uummmm teachin some Guatemalan kids english ( devious ??? What is wrong with you ? ) I know I'm going to hell. I've already started practicing how eternal fire and brimstone feel like by takin hot scalding showers !
I stayed awake for a long time watching movies and then my tumbo started feeling funny ( see Indian food ) , I took some tumbo medicine but I just ignored it and continued watching flicks until around 4 am and I was still chonjo like a wachie...So I take half a sleeping pill coz I was sooo alert it wasnt even funny ( maybe at that point I shoulda applied for a watchie job ). So I go to bed and soon the dawa starts kicking in....and off to sleep I go...
IT DOESNT END THERE....
And this is where the karma part kicks in for me laughin at Oduori about his shoes and making a biblical reference as to avoiding direct eye contact with his shoes..
Devious Life's Lesson number One....
Do not take laxatives and sleeping pills....................at the same time
posted by Unknown at 10:10 PM
25 Comments:
Fao! Nani kama Aco?
This dude seems to penda wake up calls!When free food comes your way by all means take it!
As for fibs you have to co-ordinate them otherwise you can gnash spectacularly.Auuuuuuuiiiiiiiiiiiiii!!!!!!!!!!!
Those shoes are whack!
IT DOESNT END THERE....
ebu give us part 2!
This seriously made my day. Those shoes are tooo much!!
You reply texts????
Like Aco says, when free food (or anything for that matter) comes along, take it. And run! Cause enyewe, ain't nothing free on this earth! Along with that "free" whatever comes expectations.
That was some date you had!
that was funny, poor jamaa. why not just tell him you don't want anything to do with anyone who wears those shoes...instead of keeping his hopes alive?
I swear I cant get over those shoes!!! Kwanza the mulatto one with brown in the middle!! Pole sana. Oduori stories are hilarious!
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Haiiiiya? Ati you're back? Things have changed since you disappeared. These days you have to send me a formal request to proceed or return from hiatus!
Ok forgive my ignorance, but imodium ni nini?
Archer
ROTFL. Those shoes bana. (looks around furtively - i had a pair, i wonder what happened to them, tassels and all) Oduori is relentless i see, almost on stalker level.
Pople I tell ya, he semes fond of those shoes and in the few times Ive seen him I done seen diff colors n style...but the tassels are ever present !
@ 3N- believe you me, I dont emit any signals of hope to the dude..relentless is his middle name !
@ EGM - to call it a date...sigh...we wacha, lets jus say we were sharing a table with Mr O. lol
@ Kabinti - Im inclined to susupect you put Oduori into wearing them shoes whenever he's near me !
@ Archer -Imodium is a laxative. End of discussion tihihihihi
@ Aegus - Ah kumbe even you is a culprit of them taselled shoes, tuma picha of you so I know to avoid thee for future reference lol !
@ Aco - there were many a sleepy trips to the bathroom,I seriously contemplated on getting the trash can with copious amounts of TP jus by my bed and avoid the trips to the bafu. KARMAS A COLD HEARTED BITCH !
@ Buff, I reply to texts, I know in your case I didnt, my apologies.
Tell Oduori I have his PDA. I know its his coz he has a picture of Devious One as wallpaper.
@ Udi -looooooooooool must be another Oduori coz he doenst have a picha of me - nice try !
Jus say U want to see the jamaa and it can be arranged..tsk tsk tsk
Me thinks devious is in LOVE.
LOL! Ati Odarai....Lakini you have to make up better excuses - like you are washing the cat. Ama perhaps deeep deeep down under after you peel off all layers and reach undevious, you want Odarai to concur, tassled shoes and all?
Bring that round two wewe. I think the cue should be kiatu. Glad to see ya back sweetie..
@ Mazembe...me thinks YOU is deranged...tsk tsk tsk
@ Ichiena -helll nooo...con concurrences when it comes to him ! ..we wacha lol
@ Nakeel - round two comin up soon ..hmm maybe I should invite you to join us...what says you ?
O dude must be one unrelenting brother, but then nilotes are not known for ever giving up, good luck to him on that. On the issue of fashion, well, i think he's being persecuted unfairly. Fashion is one of those issues that you can't use to go for the overkill, it's more like a by-the-way, a slap in the wrist? yeah, that. Now his braggaholic nature is meat to be fried. Although in light of his braggaholic nature he exposes everything about himself to scrutiny. I say cut him down to his size!!!
I love Odurai-the continuing Saga. You made my day LOL. The shoes he he he *sighs*. What was that they said about using what in vain LOL. Bring on the second episode...
Mrs Odarai there is nothing wrong with those shoes looooooool!! I insist. Lakini when was the last time I saw such kind of shoes?
I am learning from your mistakes if I ever have to take laxatives and sleeping pills; I do that separately.
You will have secured a place in the hottest part of hell because your hubby to be is not one to give up easily; you shall go on lying to the power of n where n is a very, very large integer.
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Hey devious, the fact that you obsess over this fella is an indication, according to mr freud, of your subconcious longings and urges which you have not yet managed to handle appropriately, and so your desires for mr oduor are showing up in many embarassing outlets.
just fyi.
Hmmmm another unsolicited Dr mazembe moment.....
You're sooo on point on how my subconscious longs for Mr O...what a breakthrough thx Dr Quack..I mean Mazembe !
Your avatar, or image there betrays all the hidden lusts you have been trying to hide.
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